


You can look (but you’d better not touch)

by LucreziaDormentaire



Series: Weird superpowers AU??? [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AKA the sequel nobody expected, Alternate Universe - College/University, Another Mind reading Yamaguchi, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, References to Depression, Superpowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:40:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6591418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucreziaDormentaire/pseuds/LucreziaDormentaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi can read minds. Tsukishima is not taking it too well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You can look (but you’d better not touch)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! thank you for the support for (some things) are better left unsaid! it was supposed to be a standalone fic, but I thought i'd write a continuation for you guys. 
> 
> If you haven't read the first fic in the series, this would get pretty confusing. (so i suggest you read it first?)

_Oh my God, that cashier just then was so hot._

_He was definitely checking me out._

 

Yamaguchi hides his snicker with his hand while waiting for his drink to arrive. He watches from the corner of his eyes as the girl next to him gradually makes her way to the front door, giggling at her friends.

“Beat it, girl. He’s my man,” He whispers to no one in particular, his foot wriggling animatedly.

“And who’re you talking to exactly,” The said guy appears at the counter across from where he is standing with a cup of tall, steaming hot Espresso. The way the blonde raises his eyebrow is dubious, but Yamaguchi knows his boyfriend, and he knows Tsukishima is just as happy to see him.

He wraps his fingers around the cup, letting his frozen hands soak up the warmth. A content sigh escapes from his lips as he does so, and he can see the corner of his boyfriend’s lip twitches upward slightly. 

“So,” He pauses mid-sentence to look up at Tsukishima. “Don’t you think that girl just then wears so little clothing in a middle of winter?”

“What girl?”

“ _That_ girl before me,” Yamaguchi exhales and purses his lips.  “I think she’s trying to woo you, Tsukki.”

“Huh,” Tsukishima glances at the entrance briefly before darting his eyes away. “Don’t you still have class after this?” he counters aloofly with the same stoic expression.

Yamaguchi bends down and leans against the counter. “Are you kicking me out?”

“Well, I do have work.”

“I’m a regular,”

“Kuroo is looking at me weird,” Tsukishima murmurs softly. “I’ll, uh…” he takes a step back, but not before Yamaguchi reaches out and squeezes his hand.

 

_I’ll text him once he got out of class, I guess._

 

Yamaguchi lightens up at the thought. He releases Tsukishima’s hand with an amused grin at his boyfriend’s flustered expression. “Call me instead,” He says before moonwalking to the exit. “See you later, Tsukki!” He waves his hand excitedly whilst _Tsukki_ only tentatively raises one of his hands, both of his ears glowing red.

Yamaguchi spends quite a while walking back to his university after making sure he won’t be late for at least fifteen minutes. The air is crisp and his coffee burns his tongue in the most unpleasant way, but he likes the sweetness that lingers in his mouth thanks to the extra caramel syrup Tsukishima always manages to sneak inside of his drink. He likes in whenever his boyfriend makes a drink specifically for him. Or, maybe, he just adores Tsukishima in general.

While Tsukishima is rather quiet and discreet, he can be very sweet and affectionate at times. Or perhaps, all the time, though he is absolutely sure Tsukishima would probably jump off a cliff than to admit it. But then again, that part of him is just what makes him cute. Just thinking about it gives Yamaguchi’s stomach butterflies.

Upon entering his class, Yamaguchi puts his mittens on and wraps his scarf up to his neck until it covers up his exposed skin.

 

\------

 

“ _My shift ends in an hour, do you want to… come over?”_

“Oh?” Yamaguchi cradles his phone between his shoulder and ear, his hands too busy sorting out his paperwork. He had expected Tsukishima would call, but it’s rare for him to invite him out when it’s still the weekday. “I’d love to.”

A pause, as Tsukishima stops talking.

“Oh but, what about Noya-san?” He asks, scribbling down notes on the paper hastily.

“… _He’s out partying_ ,” Tsukishima says with mild amusement. “ _Like usual._ ”

Yamaguchi can feel himself blush. That means it’d only be the two of them, then? Not like he’d never been in that situation before, but lately, he’s been more _aware_ of Tsukishima than before. He sets down his work and adjusts his phone back in his hand. “On a Wednesday night?” He chuckles.

Tsukishima is quiet before he mumbles softly, “ _Are you busy?_ ”

Yamaguchi chews on his pen. “No, why you ask?”

“ _I hear paper,”_ The other guy replies. “ _You’re working on something.”_

“That won’t stop me from going to your place, though,”

“ _You’re…”_ Before Tsukishima can finish what he’s about to say, he heaves a loud sigh. “ _I need to get back to work, talk to you later.”_

Yamaguchi finds himself smiling. “Alright,”

As always, Tsukishima hangs up first then Yamaguchi. It doesn’t take long for him to finally gather up his belongings and slowly makes his way to the Starbucks Tsukishima works at. He settles on a bench outside of the shop, the streetlamp just above his head gives off a vibe of an old, silent movie. He grinds his shoes against the remaining of snow on the ground while waiting for Tsukishima. The sound of his sole in contact with snowflakes is oddly satisfying.

 

 

“Have you been waiting long?”

Yamaguchi immediately straightens up. He doesn’t know when did he start to doze off, he doesn’t even know _why_ he dozed off, but the presence right next to him pulls him back to his senses.

“Ah, I – well, not really.” He tilts his head up to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. Tsukishima is wearing Yamaguchi’s favorite winter coat (Of all his wardrobe) and a pair of fluffy mitt he bought him as Christmas gift.

“Hm, come on.”

Yamaguchi stands up obediently without a word and continues to prod Tsukishima until the taller guy resignedly grabs his hand. While he may look a wee bit reluctant, the way his ears blush red tells Yamaguchi otherwise.

(Though he does blame the cold for that.)

The trip is quiet, save for the sound of wind and scrunched up snow. The road is – thankfully – deserted, because Tsukishima, somehow, keeps on pressing closer and closer to Yamaguchi until their shoulders flush against each other. Not that Yamaguchi is going to complain.

 

“Yeah, so my mom threatens to cut my yearly allowance,”

“That’s a given.” Tsukishima scoffs, peeling Yamaguchi’s scarf away.

“What do you mean by that,” Yamaguchi pouts and is about to complain but the short distance between them is making his heart flutters.

“Well, why don’t you search for a part-time job?”

“I would,” Yamaguchi brings his gaze down. “If I hadn’t had so many labs.”

Tsukishima furrows his brows and captures Yamaguchi’s cheek with one of his hands. He runs his thumb soothingly down his freckled skin.

 

_If I were your mother I’d be worried sick too_

_That, and your awful sleeping habits_

_This kid is so concerning._

Yamaguchi bites back a giggle. The place where Tsukishima touched is really warm, making his chest swells with happiness.

“Then stop wasting money on expensive coffee,” Tsukishima chides him.

“You work there! I don’t think you should be saying things like that.” Yamaguchi laughs, taking Tsukishima’s hand on his own.

 

_Couldn’t care less about that place. You, however…_

 

“That place is doing well with or without you.” Tsukishima answers indifferently.

Yamaguchi chuckles. “So cold.”

“Anyway.” The blond pulls his hand back and tosses his coat over a stool in one swift motion. Yamaguchi watches as Tsukishima ducks down to retrieve a box of DVD from under his bed.

“Is that porn?”

Tsukishima squints at him, almost unimpressed. “You’re really not subtle, are you. Or perhaps you’re suggesting something?”

“I, uh,” Yamaguchi links his fingers behind his back, his neck suddenly grows warm. “I’m not sure how to answer that,”

Tsukishima turns his head a little to the right to hide his face and coughs. Sometimes Yamaguchi thinks they’re both just clueless idiots. “It’s Game of Thrones. You said you weren’t able to finish its last season right?”

“Oh, wow, you remembered.” Yamaguchi steps closer eagerly and sits down on the bed. “It’s amazing how invested you are in that series. Accounting student sure has it easy, huh.”

That earns a jab with a foot from Tsukishima. “Shut up. Move,” He instructs. Yamaguchi crawls to the edge of the bed as Tsukishima grabs his laptop and throws him a broad, thick blanket.

They end up huddled up inside of Tsukishima’s blanket fort watching Game of Thrones together. Sometimes in the middle of it, their knees brush against each other and Yamaguchi can hear Tsukishima reciting the entire plot and character’s name enthusiastically inside of his head. That makes him smile more than once.

He always likes spending quality time together like this. Being with Tsukishima is simple and it has brought more joy in his life than he had expected. It’s really easy to just let himself relax and forget about all the bad things and horrible thoughts that once crossed his mind.

He also likes to steal glances at Tsukishima. Maybe because looking at beautiful people helps one to unwind. Tsukishima is the kind of person that is nice to look at.

The only problem with his boyfriend is his pride. Tsukishima would never say anything that would lower his self-esteem, even if it ends up misleading. He also doesn’t seem to care about what other thinks about him, like he purposefully built up a barrier to separate himself from the rest of the world. Yamaguchi wonders, if he weren’t able to read minds, would he still be here, together with Tsukishima?

“You’re staring,” Tsukishima pauses the DVD and turns his head, facing the brunette. “What’s wrong?”

“I was distracted,” Yamaguchi grins at him, pushing away all the negativity flying around in his head.

“You clearly are.” Tsukishima leans closer and presses their foreheads together. The two of them close their eyes. They’re quiet at first, listening to the sound of their soft breaths. “You got bags under your eyes.”

 

_He’s restless._

_He didn’t have enough sleep._

“Yeah, something came up yesterday so I had to stay up.”

 

_I want to_

_I want to kiss him,_

 

Yamaguchi’s eyes snap open at the thought. He impulsively jerks away, more in embarrassment than anything, but one of his hands reaches out for Tsukishima’s shirt, clutching unto it. Puzzled, Tsukishima slowly opens his eyes too, looking a little dejected.

“What?” He snaps. A little impatient. He’s annoyed, _good._

“Tsukki, you…” Yamaguchi ends his speech with a short chortle. He sneaks his hand slowly from Tsukishima’s shoulder to the back of his neck, feeling Tsukishima’s skin tingling with every touch. There’s nothing in his mind now but a blinding white, a loud silence, as Yamaguchi leans in closer.

When they kiss, there’s a spark; leaving him dizzy and out of breath.

Yamaguchi is unsure whether it’s the sensation he felt from Tsukishima or just him imagining things, but it was nice and he wants more. He circles both of his hands around Tsukishima’s neck, drawing them closer. The white that was Tsukishima’s mind now turns to thoughts of him, and it almost feels like reading into an old photo album filled with embarrassing memories.

 

_Tadashi._

 

They pull away, a little short on air.

Tsukishima is insatiable, but his mind is quiet, focused. His golden eyes bore into Yamaguchi’s, and he can see the stars dancing within them, mesmerizing him.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi starts, still a little raspy. His slides his hand down to his lap, breaking away their contact. “Tsukki, I’m going to be honest with you, so you should start being honest with me too, yeah?”

“Huh?”

“I only have one class for tomorrow,” He says. “So can you come over before your afternoon shift?”

During the span of the past four months they’ve been dating, Tsukishima grew on him. And lately, his presence grew bigger in his life as he finds it hard not to think about touching him per every single day. He’s more aware of Tsukishima’s existence every passing day, that’s why he was being restless. He grew selfish. He doesn’t want to let go. He wants to take Tsukishima seriously, and of course, he wants Tsukishima to take him seriously too.

Whenever he looks into Tsukishima’s eyes, he realizes he had found the person he wants to spend his next New Year’s Eve with. And the next year too, and also for years to come.

And he knows the only way to do that is not by keeping secrets.

So he starts from there.

 

\------

 

Tsukishima can’t suppress his groan as he rummages through Yamaguchi’s tiny refrigerator. “What’s with all these canned coffees?”

“Tsukki, sit down.” Yamaguchi asks wearily, moving his feet anxiously back and forth underneath the small dining table.

“I can’t believe Ennoshita lets you keep all of those,” Tsukishima huffs before throwing his long leg over the dining chair. As he sits down, the chair lets out a faint squeaking sound.

“If I’m aiming to be a lab assistant, I can’t lose to sleep.” Yamaguchi says evenly, blowing the steam off from his cup of Barley tea.

Tsukishima says nothing, but in return, he folds his arms and shoots Yamaguchi an irritated look.

“Thank you for worrying and all, but I’m okay, Tsukishima.” Yamaguchi stirs his tea slowly. “Two years will have gone by at a rate of knots. You won’t even feel it. So, don’t worry.”

Tsukishima scoffs. “By then I hope you’re ready for a caffeine detox. Or else we’re going to see a consultant.”

The use of _we_ in Tsukishima’s speech renders Yamaguchi into a blushing mess. Does that mean he can look forward to being with Tsukishima for two years to come? “Now you’re starting to sound like my mom,”

“Hm,” Tsukishima makes a noise of acknowledgment. “So, what has been aggravating your mind these days?”

 _A lot of things,_ Yamaguchi wants to say, but he settles with a more indirect approach. “Well, lately it’s been rather hard to keep my thoughts off of you.”

“What…” Tsukishima goes completely still as an immediate respond.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…” Yamaguchi cautiously looks up to see his boyfriend’s reaction. “And I thought If I want to take things seriously, I’d have to come clean to you, eventually.”

Tsukishima visibly tenses, and the silence between them only serves to add to the growing tension.

“I… When I touch people,” Yamaguchi’s eyes seize Tsukishima’s, determined. “I can hear their thoughts. Like a psychic.” He declares as slowly as possible, as if he’s also trying to convince himself.

Tsukishima shows no change in his expression whatsoever except for the way his eyebrows shoot up high. “Huh? What’s this? And I thought you were going to tell me you have STD or something.”

“Now that’s just offensive.”

Tsukishima exhales loudly. Talking to him is like trying to grasp at a star. “Are you joking? Am I supposed to laugh at the joke?”

Yamaguchi feels something odd tugging at his chest. He shakes his head briskly. “No, no, I’m really serious. I can read minds.”

“So you’re telling me you’re good at empathic accuracy?”

Yamaguchi tilts his head. “Wha – What?”

“It’s a psychologic term for being able to read people.” Tsukishima supplies casually. “That’s what you’re implying right?”

“What? No!” Yamaguchi bites his lower lips. He has never tried to actually explain his power to anyone outside of his family. He doesn’t know it’d be this hard. He knows nobody would believe him at first, but still, it’s absolutely excruciating. “It’s more like – Like a superpower or something. You know, professor Xavier? Um, Martian Manhunter?”

“That’s ridiculous.” Tsukishima chuckles quietly. “Unless, if you’re telling me you’re also from Mars.”

“You are not taking me seriously,”

“How am I supposed to take it seriously?”

Yamaguchi extends his hand. “Here, I can prove it to you. Give me your hand.”

Tsukishima is squinting at him as his smile disappears from his face, contemplating. It took him a while to finally give up and places his hand on top of Yamaguchi with a resigned, “Fine.”

As soon as they make contact, Yamaguchi can hear Tsukishima making fun of him inside of his head. It annoys him a little. “Now, think about something unusual. Something you think I wouldn’t know.”

Tsukishima is looking at him dubiously. “Like what.”

 

_Akiteru? Volleyball?_

_Quitting?_

_Does Yamaguchi know he looks cute wearing that bunny flip-flops?_

“U – Uh,” Cheeks ablaze, Yamaguchi tries to say something to justify his action but a thought interrupts him.

 

_I think Daenerys is going to be the queen of Westeros._

 

Yamaguchi snorts before breaking into a laugh. Tsukishima is still looking at him weird, but there’s a gentle wave of affection coursing through his mind. “Really, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi mumbles between his laughter. “Arya is the one who’s going to be the queen.”

And with those simple, yet unnerving words, Tsukishima yanks his hand back as if it burns, severing the connection between the two of them.

“Tsukki…”

Tsukishima is looking at him warily. “That could’ve been a lucky guess. What else?”

“Um, well… you thought about your brother’s playing volleyball and… my flip-flop.”

By now, Tsukishima is prominently _glaring_ at him in skepticism. “You… this… for how long?”

“Well… I’ve been able to… since I was in primary school.” Yamaguchi answers honestly. He doesn’t necessarily need to hide things now, does he?

Tsukishima sighs jadedly. Yamaguchi is starting to regret the outcome. Is it too soon to tell him this? Tsukishima opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He closes it again, looking down at Yamaguchi’s cup while slowly sorting out everything in his head. “…So all these times, you’ve been… reading into my head without my consent?”

Yamaguchi is floored. How is he supposed to answer _that_?

“Like when you openly touched me when we first met,” Tsukishima frowns, his expression turns sour. He stands up impulsively, knocking the dining chair down. “God, I had my hopes up high and for what.”

“No, listen, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi follows him, standing up from where he was seated. “I – I… It’s beyond my control! I never meant to – “

“But you still did.” Tsukishima picks up his rucksack and slings it over his shoulder. Yamaguchi gasps in terror. He doesn’t like where this is heading, and he hates how his pulse keeps resounding in his ears, like a countdown timer.

“Tsukki, I like you,” Yamaguchi reaches out for him, but Tsukishima winces away from his touch, a glimpse of fear visible in his eyes. “I’m scared too, you know. It’s not only you, I hear thousands of different thoughts every day. They’re awful – I always thought my head was going to explode,”

Tsukishima halts his movement as if giving Yamaguchi a moment to straighten things up.

“But you’re not like that… you… you are nice, and you give me some kind of tranquility in my life.” Yamaguchi says, holding back a choke. Sadly, _Tsukki_ is still refusing to meet his eyes.

For what it feels like an eternity, the two of them are quiet. Yamaguchi can only hear his heartbeat in his head and his shaky breath.

“… This is really hard to process.” Tsukishima finally says, breaking off the silence. “The person I’m dating is reading my head like an open book, while I on the other hand…”

“Y – You don’t understand!”

“Right, I don’t understand.” Tsukishima snaps. He stomps his way to the entrance and opens the door.

“Wait, Tsukki…”

“Shut up.” Tsukishima ruffles his hair and huffs. “I need some time on my own.” He slips into his shoes and apathetically leaves Yamaguchi alone in the room, reflecting on his stupid decision.

 _Good_ , now Tsukishima hates him too. Lowering himself into his knees, he tries to hold back his tears when he hears someone on the front door. Ennoshita stands by the doorframe looking nonplussed.

“Hey, I saw Tsukishima running…” The older man trails off while occasionally peeking outside to the hallway. “Yamaguchi?”

Ennoshita inches closer to him before crouching down to his level.

“What’s this? Lovers’ quarrel?” He asks with mild amusement.

“I – I’m fine,” Yamaguchi rasps.

“No you’re not. Or else you wouldn’t be sitting down in the kitchen, leaving the door open like that. Come on.” Ennoshita grabs his wrist, trying to pull him up when a sound suddenly echoes inside of his head.

 

_Well now here’s the part where he becomes a little disconcerting._

Yamaguchi swats Ennoshita’s hand away and whimpers quietly. “No…”

He’s only a second away from tears as he pushes through Ennoshita and runs outside, allowing the tears to wet his cheek as his feet bring him as far away as they could. He hears Ennoshita calling out of for him but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about anyone else at the moment. Pushing open a door to the emergency staircase, he slides down against a wall and finally lets himself cry out.

“This is useless,”

He slams his cursed hands against the cement floor repeatedly until they’re swollen red, just like his eyes.

Up to this day, he still hates his power. Despises it. It’s similar to a curse. There’s nothing remotely good about it in the end.

Sometimes he wishes he’d been born without it, or maybe hadn’t been born at all.

 

\------

 

_Hey._

_Yamaguchi._

_You’re kind of hopeless aren’t you?_

_I don’t like him._

_When will my mom stop making excuses to not pick me up?_

_God, he’s really good-looking. Is he here yet? I ran out of time, what am I supposed to do? My clients are all stupid I worked hard on that proposal! If I were to touch that girl, will she react? This place is so cramped I want to go home I hate daddy he always hit me I hope I can pass the exam easily I need this in my life so much_

A sudden beeping swallows all the white noises in the background.

 

Yamaguchi is abruptly woken up by his phone alarm.

His hands are clammy and his hair is sticking to his temple. He’s sweating a lot, and It’s getting hard to steady his breathing.

“Shit,” He murmurs, holding his head with both of his hands.

He checks his phone once more before getting out of the bed. Still nothing.

It’s been five days. Tsukishima does not text or call him back. Tsukishima is angry at him; he at least knows as much.

To add to his growing misery, his nightmares are coming back. Every single day, just the same dream over and over again is getting pretty nauseating. He can feel his appetite declining.

Ennoshita left him three riceballs for breakfast, but by the time Yamaguchi has finished packing up for class, they were left untouched.

 

Classes are hell for Yamaguchi. He’s clearly not in the mood to study, socialize, nor to look at anyone in particular. Yachi has been busy these days too, and he barely has any time to meet any of his close acquaintances. It almost like high school all over again. Those memories are not something he’d want to recount.

Lately, his lessons have been pretty dull. Like sand, slowly slipping away from his grasp, he can’t seem to memorize anything his professors taught him.

All the way to his class he avoids being in a large crowd, avoids getting caught in a group chat and hunches his shoulders to make himself smaller.

“Yama-chan!”

 _Ugh._ He goes rigid as he catches a familiar voice calling out to his name. Oikawa strolls at his direction, _still as eye-catching as ever,_ and slings and arm around his shoulder casually. He’s thankful he cannot read nor hear Oikawa’s thought for some odd reason because he doesn’t really want to know what’s going on inside of his head. _This guy is difficult_ , Yamaguchi thinks to himself.

 “Do you want to sit together?”

 

During the entire lecture, Oikawa is staring at him. It’s giving him the chill. The weight of his stares is off-putting. He can’t handle this much pressure. Sometimes it’s weird to not know what people are thinking, and Oikawa Tooru is a man of mystery.

“Oikawa-san… I can’t help but notice you’ve been staring…” He whispers through the sleeve of his sweater, hiding whatever expression he is wearing right at the time.

“Yes, you’re right,” Oikawa answers it so easily without a single care in the world. “You know Yama-chan, you stopped texting me right after I helped you with that group assignment of yours, how rude.” In contrast to his words, the smile he has on his face is warm and kind.

Yamaguchi leans into his chair and glances sideway at Oikawa before continuing albeit reluctantly, “Actually, Oikawa-san… there’s something I wanna ask you about,”

Oikawa lightens up at that. He checks his wristwatch briefly before nodding. “Sure~”

 

“So, um, you’re really popular, right?” Yamaguchi swings his feet back and forth; a habit he grows out every time he’s feeling anxious.

Oikawa grins cheekily and scratches the back of his head. “Well, you could say that.”

Yamaguchi hums while nodding his head in acknowledgment. “I see. So you must have few experiences with loves, then.”

“Uh.” The guy in front of him blinks. He looks a little lost. “Not that much, but if you have something you want to ask – “

“Actually, yeah.” Yamaguchi exhales and brushes his face with his hands. “I fought with my boyfriend, because um, I’ve been keeping something from him,”

“Huh?”

“He was pretty harsh about it, but I… It’s partly my fault too. So I wonder what am I supposed to tell him? I really… I don’t want to prolong this fight.” He fiddles with the hem of his sleeves, pulling away a loose strand.

“Wait – “ Oikawa grabs his shoulders suddenly, causing him to let out a pathetic little squeak. “You have a _boyfriend_ , _”_ It comes out more like a statement than a question, so Yamaguchi is a little baffled.

“Uh, yes…?”

Oikawa scrunches up his face. “Have you told him the truth?”

“I did. That’s why he was so mad.” Yamaguchi peeks at the hand on his shoulder briefly. “I just… want to apologize but he won’t reply to any of my messages or return my call.”

Oikawa flashes him a smile of pity. He cups Yamaguchi’s face gently. “You should break up with him.”

“Come again?” No, He doesn’t want _that_ of all things!

“Don’t spend your time mulling on someone like that, Yama-chan. It’s such a waste…” Oikawa runs his thumb down his cheek, “…Of a good resource.”

Now he clearly has the chill. He shoves Oikawa away with all his might until the poor guy comes tumbling down the chair and swiftly collects his things. “I – I’m sorry, Oikawa-san, but I have something I need to do!” He stutters while standing up. Oikawa only groans in response, rubbing the back of his skull.

“This feels like a Déjà vu.”

Yamaguchi leaves the classroom as if nothing happened, but Oikawa’s words won’t stop repeating itself inside his head.

_You should break up with him._

No, he doesn’t want to break up. Just thinking about it makes his stomach churn.

But enough about him, what about Tsukishima? What if he doesn’t want a boyfriend with weird supernatural power? What if he finds him a bother too, just like the rest of the world? If Tsukishima wants to split up, then what is he going to do?

“Ugh,” Yamaguchi crouches down in the middle of the hall and hugs his belly. Suddenly everything is so heavy and irritating.

 

 

\------

 

The view from outside of the window is aberrant. Though it’s the same usual crowd with the surroundings he knows best, Yamaguchi still feels like as if there’s something amiss.

He feels detached. Edgy.

His eyes roam distantly outside of the thin glass, unfocused, until they start to burn hot.

Yamaguchi has spent his whole life tangled in the currents of apprehension. He knows full well what dread is like; he lives in it. Experienced it. But this, he deems, is nothing like anything he’d undergo before. While he used to elude any form of sleep, now he longs for it.

A shadow looms before him, blocking his view of the hectic outside world he wants no part of. Snapping out of his near-depression state, Yamaguchi absently looks up and is greeted by a familiar face looking down at him.

“Kuroo-san.”

“Yamaguchi,” The guy politely replies, making it sounds a little bit forced. Kuroo rubs his nape in an apologetic manner, as if he’s having second thoughts. “You’ve been sitting there for almost two hours without ordering anything. It’s bad for business, you know.”

“Oh,” Yamaguchi places his palms flat on the table and is about to stand up when Kuroo suddenly cuts in.

“Eh, no, no. Sit down.” Kuroo gestures with his hand before pulling a chair for himself and sits down.

“Um...” Yamaguchi raises an eyebrow questioningly at the man in front of him, still in his dark green apron.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m on my break,” He nonchalantly states. When he smiles at Yamaguchi, the smaller guy smiles back, albeit a little dry. It doesn’t take long until Kuroo pulls a face. “What’s up with you, though? You look like you could kill a bird with that kind of eyes,”

Yamaguchi doesn’t respond immediately; he merely blinks.

Kuroo props his elbows against the table and inclines closer. “It’s Tsukishima, isn’t it?”

Yamaguchi winces. At least he still reacts like a working human being.

“Well, I figured because you don’t usually come when it’s not his shift.” Kuroo explains matter-of-factly. “And that kid has been acting weird since last week. Dunno what’s gotten into him but something must’ve happened between you two,”

Yamaguchi averts his eyes. Who could’ve guessed Kuroo, who always looks like he’s doing everything half-heartedly, could be this sharp? “Did he… um… did he say something?”

Kuroo draws back looking a teensy bit satisfied after managing to coax something out of Yamaguchi. “Knowing that guy, I don’t think he’ll ever talk to me about his dilemmas in a million years.”

“But… you’ve known him longer than I have.” Yamaguchi gnaws on his nail unconsciously. His anxiety is pressing down upon him.

“Whoa, there,” Kuroo snatches Yamaguchi’s hand away from his mouth. Yamaguchi is thankful he’s wearing a long-sleeved sweater. He really doesn’t want to get inside anyone’s mind, not in his current state. “Don’t get all panicky on me,”

Yamaguchi puts his hand down slowly, feeling a blush creeping down his cheeks. “Sorry,” He murmurs. “Kuroo-san…”

“Hm?”

“Do you… Do you think Tsukki hates me?” Putting his uneasiness aside, Yamaguchi braves himself on asking the question that has been nagging inside of his mind for the past few days.

Kuroo doesn’t look too surprised. Or maybe he’s trying not to. He folds his arms on top of the table and exhales through his nose. “I wouldn’t know.”

“But he’s angry, isn’t he.”

“People get angry because they care,” Kuroo assures him while trying to sound as convincing as a Kuroo Tetsuro can accomplish. “Most of them, that is.”

Yamaguchi knits his brows and keeps his eyes trained on his trembling hands. “Everyone is… trying to be nice to me while I…” He fists his hands tightly, letting his nails dig into the skin of his palm. “Sometimes I wish everything would just… stop.”

Kuroo leans against the backrest and crosses his legs underneath the table. “I may not know what your problem is but, there are just some things that're beyond you. Things that you can’t do anything about, no matter how hard you try to fix it. Everyone has that problem.” He tips his chin and fixes his stare to the ceiling. “Or at least I know someone who does,” He mumbles almost inaudibly.

Yamaguchi chews the inside of his lips, still refusing to make eye contact.

Hearing no reply, Kuroo decides to continue. “But see, that kind of problem is what makes you, you. It’s a part of you.” He brings his eyes down to Yamaguchi. “If you were to run away from that portion of yourself, are you sure you won’t regret it?”

The question catches Yamaguchi by surprise. He looks up straightaway, meeting Kuroo’s cold gaze and finding himself unable to look away. Regret? If there’s anything he’d regret about not having this misfortune is that he won’t be able to see through Tsukishima. He won’t be able to try and attempt an exchange with him, let alone date him. And somehow, that idea scares him more than all of the unpleasant things he went through.

“Anyway. If there’s anything I know about Tsukishima, is that he’s crazy smart.” Kuroo shrugs. “He’d understand eventually. He’s simply really reserved, you know. You don’t just win over someone like that in a day or two,”

“Kuroo-san…” Yamaguchi says in awe. “You’re really cool.”

Kuroo blinks his eyes in uncertainty before splitting his lips into a shit-eating grin. “ _Finally_ , someone who understands.”

Yamaguchi finally laughs after days of insecurity. It’s like the weight of the world suddenly withdraws from his shoulders.

“And one more thing.” Kuroo adds. He motions for Yamaguchi to come closer and whispers, “I’m not supposed to say this but Tsukishima asked me to only serve you tea if you were to drop by when he’s not here.”

Yamaguchi is unprepared for that. He feels his pulse quickens, like a lovestruck teenage girl.

“He still cares a lot about you, he couldn’t possibly hate you.”

 

\------

 

That night, Yamaguchi waits in front of Tsukishima’s dorm room. That place brings back a lot of memories for him; from the first time he visited Tsukishima to the first night he spent watching him sleep, they’re twirling in the corner of his mind, luring a fond smile out of his lips.

“We need to talk.” He greets as Tsukishima steps into view.

Tsukishima is the same as always, Yamaguchi thinks. Maybe a little stiffer than usual, but it’s a given, knowing that they had cut off contact for at least a week. Tsukishima remains silent but does not make any sign to refuse, so Yamaguchi resumes.

“I… I missed you, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi’s words fail him the second he opens his mouth. He wants to die now. “I mean – it’s okay to be mad but if we were to prolong this I’m afraid you’ll – you’ll dump me.”

Tsukishima makes a weird mix of expressions just like that time he finished a horribly written movie. And when he got out of the theater after watching Dawn of Justice. Yamaguchi is unsure what to make of that.

“I don’t… I don’t want that,” Yamaguchi pulls the hems of his sweatshirt as a sob escapes him. “I don’t want you to hate me _too_ , I don’t… want to break up with you,” He weeps shrilly. His whole existence is failing him at this point. When he made up his mind about talking to Tsukishima, _this was not in the plan_ _at all_. So much for the adult talk.

Tsukishima, who is at a complete lost, gapes at him in disbelief. At first, he looks a little affronted as if Yamaguchi had just said something really offensive, but now he’s freaking out. “Yama… Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi continues to weep. It’s humiliating, he understands, but he can’t stop the tears from flowing out. Now that Tsukishima is right in front of him, all those unexplainable feelings welling up in his chest from the previous days just suddenly exploded, and he can’t do anything about it but to wipe his snots with his sleeve.

“Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima says, slower this time. Yamaguchi tips his head up expectantly, eyes glimmering with tears. “I… I’m not breaking up with you.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t know where you got that crazy idea from, but I’m definitely not ditching you.” Tsukishima mutters calmingly.

“B – But…” Yamaguchi sniffles. He scrunches up his face like he’s about to cry again. “But you were so cold and you didn’t even call me and uh,”

“Please don’t cry.” Tsukishima says with a grimace.

“I can’t!”

Without a word, the blonde yanks Yamaguchi’s wrist and rashly unlocks the key to his dorm. He hauls his boyfriend inside of the room and slips out of his shoes randomly. Yamaguchi follows suit quietly, with some occasional hiccups. As he trying to throw his shoes off, he notices another pair down the entrance that doesn’t belong to either of them.

“Tsukki, Noya-san is – “

“Leave him.” Tsukishima murmurs, pulling Yamaguchi inside his bedroom and finally let go as he closes the door shut. Yamaguchi stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, rubbing his eyes dry with the heel of his palms.

“I’m sorry, Tsukki.” He hitches. “I’m sorry for not telling you, and for invading your head without your permission,”

Raking his fingers through his hair, a soft sigh escapes Tsukishima’s lips. “Yamaguchi, you don’t have to apologize.”

“But I did something – “

“You said you can’t control it right?” Tsukishima butts in and steps closer. “Don’t you have it hard on your side too?”

As Yamaguchi blinks, a single shed of tear slides down his reddening cheek.

Tsukishima closes his lips into a thin line. “I just need time to… sort things out. But that doesn’t mean I’m dumping you.”

“…Sorry I yelled at you Tsukki.” Yamaguchi mumbles softly, his body is still shivering. “It’s just so hard. It’s so hard to get a grip of everything when nobody understands you. To regain my faith once I got a glimpse of what’s inside,”

“Yamaguchi…”

“I’m not expecting you to understand, but…” Yamaguchi smiles wryly at him. “I just want you to… trust me.”

Tsukishima’s expression hardens as he catches Yamaguchi’s hand. He’s wearing winter gloves, so it’s impossible to guess what he’s thinking as his eyes roam Yamaguchi’s, like he’s searching for something. “I do trust you. If you don’t believe me, go ahead and read my thoughts.”  And with that, he voluntarily smooths Yamaguchi’s palm against his skin, letting the brunette’s hand rests on his cheek.

Yamaguchi gasps.

 

_Oh shit oh shit what now_

_He cried my goodness what am I going to do if he cries again? I really can’t deal with crying people holy crap_

_I don’t know how in the world does his power work shit._

_Am I going to regret this? Am I???_

“Pfft.” Yamaguchi snorts before giggling like a child.

“What? What is it?” Tsukishima narrows his eyes at him, blood starting to rush to his face.

“It’s like your thoughts are jumbled together, Tsukki. It’s such a mess.”

Tsukishima visibly sulks. He peels Yamaguchi’s hand away, but links it with his. “Then let me tell you straight want I want to say the most then.”

“Okay.”

Tsukishima bends down until Yamaguchi can feel the heat of his breath on his neck. As he hears Tsukishima whispers him the words he had been aching to hear, he can’t stop the inexplicable tears that roll down his cheeks.

The problem with his boyfriend is his pride. Tsukishima would never say anything that would lower his self-esteem, even if it ends up misleading. He also doesn’t seem to care about what other thinks about him, like he purposefully built up a barrier to separate himself from the rest of the world. But if Tsukishima willingly broke that barrier down for him, and only to him, Yamaguchi could care less about the world.

 

\------

 

“ _I still think you’re cute. And delightful. If you don’t have this stupid power then we wouldn’t meet, and then my life would probably suck.”_

**Author's Note:**

> there are like few geeky references here lmao  
> please tell me if its bad i m not good at writing angst??
> 
> if any of you are wondering; how do they have sex?  
> they don't. at least for now. Tsukishima is not (mentally and physically) ready for that.


End file.
